Some dining etiquette rules that are partially broken or totally ignored
How many of you have flashbacks of your mother yelling at you “don’t put your elbows on the table” when dining? I bet many of us ‘ole timers’ do. Is this an old fashioned rule that has lost relevance in modern dining etiquette? In France it is considered polite to keep your hands on the table, whereas to have your elbows on the table whilst eating will raise eyebrows in Germany. And yet…people follow the rule without learning the sense behind it.
In medieval times, it was common sense. Because a table was a loose plank on top of a tree stump (later on trestles topped with wooden tops), and putting one’s weight on one’s elbows meant unbalancing the table and sending everyone’s’ food and drinks crashing to the ground. Modern tables are solid enough to rest one’s elbows on. And yet… many people continue to learn the rule without the sense behind it.
Ahoy there…putting elbows on the table it seems originally began where sailors, when eating on ships, would put their elbows on the table to keep their plate from sliding during rougher seas. And that…did make sense.
A middle of the road approach would be to avoid elbows on the dining table while eating or when food is being served. However, doing so between courses or at the end of a meal when the table has been cleared is not a ‘faux pas’.
What about the rule that requires you to ensure that the menu when received from the server needs to be placed, even partly, on the table when flipping through the pages? What’s wrong in bringing it closer to the face, especially if it is someone who has a slight vision problem that makes it hard to read? The suggestion that one should then bring oneself closer to the menu would not appeal to someone with a posture problem that makes it hard to lean forward.
I get that the menu not a novel...but some fonts on printed menus are so tiny that they heighten the effects of ‘disfluency’. (Disfluency is just a subjective feeling of difficulty associated with any mental task). So, if something is hard to see or hear, it feels disfluent. And that’s something older people often encounter. The only reason I wouldn’t bring the menu close to my face is because it is the most germ-filled item in the restaurant.
In the days gone by, that well-intentioned though condescending gesture, of certain fine-dining restaurants, presenting ladies menus without prices– because the gentleman paid the bill, has thankfully disappeared. I say thankfully…because I bet you, nowadays most ladies would burst a blood vessel if they received a menu with no prices. This got me thinking as to which ladies-first rules are practiced in-depth and how relevant are they today?
Restaurants used to always take the ladies orders before gents. Veteran restaurant operators and culinary instructors would insist that it is proper etiquette backed by generations of history (notwithstanding delays when some women are undecided, especially where there is a large table). However, several modern day restaurateurs say it is not necessary for the ordering process to begin with women.
It’s the same with serving orders. Many servers place dishes based on the order they come out of the kitchen (some dishes are prepared quicker than others), or each guest’s position at the table. In this case, common sense it appears rules over gender etiquette. As one restaurant operator explains, “Sometimes it's better and less intrusive to serve a large table quickly rather than insisting on serving all the women first."
Take for example three couples who are dining at a restaurant, where one diner (male) orders a bottle of wine to be shared amongst the six of them. The server first pours the first taste to the person (male) who ordered it, then begins to serve the three ladies, clockwise around the table, then the two men and finally the host. In all, the server makes two and a half trips around the table to pour one bottle of wine to six diners – all in the name of gender-based etiquette.
Now, there are many "unwritten rules" for dining and many who savour having those rules followed when eating an expensive meal in an upscale restaurant. There are also those who don’t mind when the rules are bent or broken if they can potentially eliminate those moments that rupture the enjoyment of dining. Which one would you subscribe to?
I’ll leave you to be the judge.
Ilzaf Keefahs is a freelance writer who enjoys focusing on hospitality related matters that he is passionate about, and likes to share his views with hoteliers and customers alike. He delves into the heart of hospitality to figure out both customer service and consumer trends that impact the industry
|
|
|
|
