Stop asking "How is everything?"(It's lazy and your customers hate it)
You know what your customers are thinking when your server walks up mid-bite and asks "How is everything?"
"Please go away."
That's it. That's the whole thought process.
Yet every restaurant in America trains their staff to interrupt meals with this meaningless question. And then you wonder why you're not getting honest feedback or building real connections with guests.
The table check theater
Let's be honest about what's actually happening:
Server: "How is everything tonight?"
Customer (mouth full, desperately swallowing): "Good, thanks."
Server: "Great! Let me know if you need anything!"
What the customer actually thinks: "The steak is overcooked, the wine is warm, and I've been waiting 10 minutes for silverware, but I'm not going to tell you any of that because you caught me mid-conversation and I just want you to leave."
Congratulations. You've checked a box on your service steps and learned absolutely nothing.
Why this question is useless
People lie when put on the spot. Nobody wants confrontation. Nobody wants to be "that customer." So they smile, say "fine," and then leave you a mediocre review on Google later.
It's interruptive. You're literally stopping a conversation, a moment, or a bite of food to ask a question you don't really want answered. If the food was bad, would you actually have time to fix it? Probably not.
It trains customers to not give feedback. When you ask a throwaway question, you get a throwaway answer. You've taught them their opinion doesn't actually matter because you're clearly just going through the motions.
Your staff doesn't want real answers anyway. Let's be brutally honest - your servers ask this because they have to, not because they care. They're hoping for "good" so they can move on to the next table.
What actually works
Want real feedback? Want genuine guest interaction? Stop performing and start observing.
Train your staff to READ tables instead of interrogating them. Empty plates = success. Picked-over plates = problem. Wine glasses empty for 15 minutes = you're not paying attention. You don't need to ask "how is everything" when you can see everything.
Ask SPECIFIC questions when there's actually a problem. See someone's steak sitting there untouched? "I noticed you haven't touched your steak - can I have the kitchen prepare you something else?" That's useful. That shows you care.
Create real moments of connection. "I saw you ordered the special - Chef just put fennel pollen on it for the first time and wants to know what you think." That's specific. That's genuine. That invites real conversation.
Stop interrupting. The best service is often invisible. Keep glasses filled, clear finished plates promptly, and be available when needed. Revolutionary concept: Let people enjoy their meal.
The hard truth
"How is everything?" isn't hospitality. It's a checkbox. It's proof you completed your service steps. It's CYA so when someone complains, you can say "but we asked if everything was okay!"
Real hospitality is anticipating needs before they're voiced and solving problems before they're complaints.
Bottom line
Your customers don't need to be interrupted every 7 minutes to feel taken care of. They need attentive, observant service that doesn't require them to perform satisfaction for your staff.
Stop asking questions you don't want answers to. Start paying attention to the answers your customers are already giving you.
Their empty plates will tell you more than their polite lies ever will.
Defend the table check in the comments if you want - but first, ask yourself: when's the last time a customer gave you genuinely useful feedback from that question?
Chip Klose MBA - Helping Restaurants Reach Consistent 20% Profit./ Restaurant Coach, Author, Keynote Speaker with 25 years of industry experience.
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