How to get the monkey off your back
As the manager, is it possible that you are helping your people in a way that is similar to feeding their monkeys? No? Guess again.
Can you recall how often this has happened? You, as the manager, whilst walking in the hotel lobby are greeted by your Front Office Manager John, coming in the opposite direction. “Good Morning” he says. As you both meet, he walks alongside you and whispers, “By the way boss…we got a problem. You see…” He then goes on to tell you just enough to get you to say, ‘Good thing you brought this up. Let me think about it…and I’ll let you know.”
Before you met John, on whose back was the monkey (problem)? His. After you both went your separate ways, on whose back is it now? Yours.
Next day morning, at the conclusion of the monthly heads of departments meeting, Jake the Human Resources Manager brings up a problem to which you say “Alright, send me a memo on that”. That monkey on Jake’s back is now getting ready to leap…and, no sooner he fires that memo to you, his monkey jumps across on to your back.
That same afternoon, you bump into Donald the Assistant Food & Beverages manager, who asks “Can I have a word with you sir?” and, after a couple of minutes; you end the conversation by saying “I know what you are talking about. Let me check that with Harry (Donald’s superior). I’ll get back to you later”. Immediately afterwards, Donald walks away with a spring in his walk. It’s as if a huge burden has been lifted off his shoulders. Why? How? Because of your intervention, the monkey that was on his back until you met him, is now firmly on yours.
So, now you got three monkeys that do not belong to you sitting comfortably on your shoulder. Some manager’s might argue that taking your subordinates’ monkeys’ is a ‘rescue’ act. Is it? To John, Jake and Donald, you are a kind manager, while others may well ask you, “what kind of a manager are you?"
Monkeys are usually free to forage in the jungle, but when habituated, they need to be fed. If you decide not to set free your monkey, then you are committed to its care and wellbeing. When you adopt a subordinate’s monkey, then who is working for whom?
This story is not all about monkeys. It gets worse. Remember your promise to Donald to talk to his boss Harry? Well, don’t be surprised to find him waiting in your office the next morning, and, to greet you with a “How’s it going?” (Words of a true supervisor), “Have you spoken to Harry yet?” Caught off guard and not having had the time to call Harry, you hurriedly reply” No I haven’t, but I’ll get right on to it”.
Can you see where this is heading? Now you’re subordinate -turned supervisor is putting pressure on you to do his job, and, like any good manager will go on to supervise your progress. This is the typical ’Delegating up’ procedure. One that occurs in every business – despite not found in any manual, guidebook, and standard of operations or the like.
If we assume you have eight department heads and each of whom restricts him/herself to delivering one monkey per day. By the end of the day, there may be eight of those primates clinging on to you and by Friday afternoon, you have over 40 of these monkeys in your office…all screaming to be fed.
It all starts very subtly with the asking of your opinion. You give your subordinates a task, he or she finds it difficult to accomplish and come back to ask you what they should do. This is ‘delegating up’ and if you accept this, not only does it eat into your time; it also distracts you from your proper role and does absolutely nothing to help your subordinates develop.
So, how do you stop accepting a monkey that a subordinate brings your way or put differently, prevent people from ‘delegating up’. You use a supportive leadership style instead. Pat the monkey on the head and tell the subordinate that you understand the complexity of the problem and that you are willing to talk to him about how he – not you, can look for a solution. This result in the subordinate leaving not just with the monkey, but also with an idea as to what he or she should do about it.
Another approach, one that adopts a learning opportunity for your subordinate and keeps that monkey off your back, is to ask the person coming to you “what is your recommendation?” They quickly learn that they must come up with a solution before asking your opinion. You then have the option of supporting their solution or explaining why you would act differently.
Yet another tactic is to ask your subordinate to meet you in your office at a time convenient to you, and say to him/her “Tell me how it is going then”. With that statement, both of you have maintained your roles – you as supervisor and you’re subordinate as supervisee.
Sometimes, subordinates may have to be taught how to feed certain monkeys. In such instances, use the directing and coaching leadership style. Explain each move thoroughly. Make certain that he/she understands each step and be prepared to repeat yourself if necessary.
Be wary of those who appear baffled by the job you are asking them to do. Sometimes, smart subordinates pretend to be less confident in order to suck you into saying, “give it here, let me take care of it”. That’s when you have unwittingly held out your hand to feed your subordinate’s monkey.
There are of course some monkeys you may have to take like the ones given by your boss – no choice. But others you don’t. If you have already adopted some of your subordinates’ monkey, it’s time to give them back to the rightful owners.
Remember however, that you as the manager can develope subordinates provided they have the initiative. Unless you give it to them, you are wasting both their time and yours.
WILLIAM ONCKEN
The late William Oncken Jr. wrote the best - selling ‘Managing Management Time’ in 1988, from which this column, together with passages from Kenneth Blanchard’s “One minute manager meets the monkey” was adapted for the hospitality industry.
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