Why are airline passengers so entitled and inconsiderate?
Civility is dead. Here's how to navigate the new normal in the sky.
On a recent flight from Dublin to Istanbul, I heard the unmistakable soundtrack to the kids' TV show Bob the Builder blasting through my noise-canceling earbuds.
That's funny, I thought. My Bob the Builder phase ended when my daughter graduated from kindergarten. And then I realized that the sounds of, "Can we fix it? Yes we can!" were actually broadcasting from the row behind me. A mom was playing it for her toddler so loud that I could hear it through my Pixel Buds.
I asked Mom if she could fix my problem by asking Junior to wear a headset, and thankfully, she said, "Yes, I can." She gave her boy a pair of headphones and everyone else enjoyed a quiet flight.
But that got me thinking about entitled and inconsiderate behavior on a plane. I'm not the only one who has dealt with a fellow passenger playing entertainment at top volume. In fact, read any news report of a flight diversion, and chances are there's a thoughtless passenger behind it — someone who didn't want to share the overhead bin space, insisted on jamming their seat all the way back, or didn't want to wait to use the bathroom.
Why are passengers acting so badly? And what can you do if you're seated next to an entitled traveler?
What's wrong with these people?
"There's a societal trend toward selfishness — it's 'me-first' and 'me-only,'" says Lori Freemire, a Denver-based flight attendant. "There's little regard for the gate agents or crew trying to do their jobs."
Thomas Plante, a professor of psychology at Santa Clara University, says passengers are becoming narcissists. "More and more people think that the world revolves around them and that people should cater to their needs," he told me. "Frankly, it's breathtaking."
I'll say. Although my story had a happy ending, others don't. On a recent flight from Seattle to Dallas, Rachel Wagner had the misfortune of sitting next to a passenger who seemed oblivious to the concept of common courtesy. The passenger immediately began watching a movie on her phone — without a headset.
Wagner politely asked the passenger if she had earbuds, but the woman replied “no” and continued watching her movie. After takeoff, Wagner, who was wearing noise-canceling earbuds, could still hear the movie. Again, she politely asked the passenger if she had earbuds.
“Why don’t you just get your own plane!” the woman snapped.
Oh, and here's the kicker: Wagner is an etiquette expert, so you know she was extra polite when she asked. In retrospect, she says she should have gotten a flight attendant to intervene instead of dealing with the entitled passenger herself. That's sound advice.
Why are passengers acting like this?
Experts say there are reasons for this shift in attitudes when traveling by plane — and specifically, this entitled behavior.
That's not all. Facebook, Instagram and X have nurtured a culture of complaints. Passengers know that if they take to Twitter or Facebook to complain about their flight experience, they are likely to get a response from the airline. "Social media has set the stage for the go-nuclear mentality," says Susan Sherren, who runs the travel agency Couture Trips.
Bottom line: Air travelers are more self-absorbed and stressed than ever. And it shows. Vivian Au, a flight behavior expert and founder of Air Corporate, says passenger demands have spiked in the last year. For example, on the Los Angeles to New York routes, the flight attendant call button is getting pushed 40 percent more often than in 2023. "First-class travelers now demand responses in less than two minutes," she told me.
What if you're seated next to an entitled passenger?
If you fly, chances are that, at some point, you'll be sitting next to someone who does something objectionable, as if they own the plane.
Charlie Neville, the marketing director at JayWay Travel, says preparation and patience is key when dealing with these problem passengers. "I’d recommend adopting a more mindful approach to travel — accepting that delays and hiccups are part of the journey and staying calm through it all," he says. Being in a good mind space ensures that when you run into someone who is entitled, you'll be better able to handle them without getting emotionally involved. "When dealing with demanding passengers, staying calm and addressing the situation with facts rather than emotions can be highly effective in de-escalating a situation,” adds Ryan Saroli, CEO of Flygreen, a jet chartering service.
You'll also want to show some empathy, say experts. Joanna Teljeur, a spokeswoman for AirAdvisor, says your seatmate who is having a meltdown and jabbing the flight attendant call button is also human. "Empathy in all situations is important," she says. It may actually be the first step to resolving the issue.
I prefer the direct approach: Take a deep breath and politely but directly ask the entitled passenger to stop behaving like a toddler. Unless, of course, they are a toddler, in which case you'd take it up with Mom, as I did on my flight to Turkey. And if none of that works? Then it's OK for you to push the flight attendant call button — and ask a crew member for help.
Here they come!
If you think this discussion is theoretical, or a repeat of something I've recently written, I've got news for you: This upcoming summer travel season, which may be the busiest one on record, promises to be full of entitled passenger incidents. Other than deep breathing exercises and a quality headset, I'm not sure if there's a way to prepare for the summer of the Entitled Passenger. (Oh no, did I just coin a term? I hope not.)
Maybe there's a way to fix this problem. Airlines can start offering a humane amount of personal space again, just like they did before "before the unfortunate deregulation of the airline industry. They can ensure their passengers have enough food and water instead of trying to sell them everything. They can stop charging junk fees for a reserved seat or luggage.
If they did that, I bet the entitled passengers would disappear overnight.
Christopher Elliott
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