Emotional Intelligence: Lessons learnt in hospitality - Part 3
“By teaching people to tune in to their emotions with intelligence and to expand their circles of caring, we can transform organizations from the inside out and make a positive difference in our world “ – Daniel Goleman.
Working in the hospitality industry can sometimes be emotionally exhausting, particularly for those at the front of house, who are expected to face customers with a smile and show friendliness - even when confronted by difficult and demanding customers. Managers must know how to motivate such staff, especially those providing customer service to frequently quell the concerns of enquiring, anxious and sometimes distressed guests.
For frontline staff to perform well, a primary aspect of their job is to show empathy where necessary. Showing empathy though, can be exhausting in any setting or role – made worse when things go frequently wrong . This is further aggravated when supervisors and managers fail to recognise the importance of showing empathy to their staff in such situations.
Studies have shown that one of the key reasons for high levels of employee turnover is the absence of emotional intelligence (EQ) in supervisors and managers. On one hand, and, this is noticeable in many cases; the higher the level of authority: the lower the levels of EQ. On the other hand, one observes lower levels of employee churn when managers and those above them demonstrate greater empathy and communicate effectively. Look around you, how many Managers and CEO’s in the hotel industry are recognized for their EQ?
In the previous two articles (parts 1 & 2), I briefly touched upon the importance of self awareness and empathy. Allow me now to share a few observations which might shed light on certain situations that arise from behavioural outcomes.
I’ve come across quite a few managers who appear to spend a lot of time in cloud-cuckoo land. They only see the world from one perspective - theirs. Consequently, they have a very limited or jaundiced view of themselves – blissfully unaware of their imperfections and the inability to recognise the signals that portend underperformance.
I too, behaved in a similar manner, soon after joining the hotel industry, armed with a degree in hotel management. When something went wrong, I would go into the departments responsible to show them what was wrong and to tell them what needed to be done to fix the problem. Soon, it became a near daily sermon and I kinda got that feeling that my approach did not work. Apart from that, my anger grew each time the same thing was done wrong and I began to show my frustration.
When I spoke of this to my mentor, he suggested I modify my ‘all knowing’ behavioural manner when engaging with employees. He also questioned me “Have you at any point, asked the staff what was wrong and how they would fix the problem?”. I immediately realised what he meant and changed the way I had dealt with the situation. The results soon became very apparent as the mistakes they now made were few.
During my discourse with my mentor, he also told me to try and understand my anger – because in the final analysis and in his own words “anger is a punishment we give ourselves, for someone else’s mistake.” Words of wisdom I never forgot.
Lesson Learned: Firstly, I discovered that being a student and entering the industry after graduation, I would have been better prepared for my career, had I been taught the rudiments of emotional intelligence skills. Sadly, this was not so. In fact it came as no surprise to learn that hardly any hospitality education institute included courses in ‘leadership’ during my time. Equally unsurprising, was that those without higher education or a degree assumed that the likes of us who entered the industry after graduation were knowledgeable of how to behave in an emotionally intelligent manner. How wrong we all were.
Secondly, I learned that, those without a college degree found that to be successful, in an area where education was highly favored, they needed to find ways to make themselves more valuable. These were employees who became “on the job - lifelong” learners. Working up from line positions, they somehow or another, discovered the best methods to achieve desired results when dealing with guests and subordinates. I admired their relentless commitment to stand up and be counted.
Finally, I learned that I had to curb anger in any situation - since unrestrained anger can make one behave irrationally. The key word here is unrestrained; because it doesn’t mean that one can’t get angry…one can. Emotional intelligence is about achieving the best possible outcomes in an accepted manner of behaviour. Emotionally intelligent people employ the tactics of displaying negative (showing people that you’re upset, sad or frustrated) and positive emotions intentionally where appropriate, whilst controlling one’s behaviour under any circumstances.
Ilzaf Keefahs is a free lance writer who enjoys focusing on hospitality related matters that he is passionate about, and likes to share his views with hoteliers and customers alike. He delves into the heart of hospitality to figure out both customer service and consumer trends that impact the industry.
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