Dealing with despicable and uncouth customers
A few weeks ago, Hospitality Sri Lanka featured an article written by Ashraaq Wahab, titled ‘Have you encountered these types of difficult customers? In it, he identifies eight main types of customers that workers in the tourism trade – especially frontline service employees in hotels and restaurants are most likely to encounter. When it comes to the restaurant industry, there are very few people who bear the brunt of work like waiters do. They field complaints from customers, they act as a go-between for the chefs, and they have to be on their feet for hours on end. Waiting tables is a brutal job, really. It’s underpaid, too.
One type he describes is the demanding or aggressive type of customer staff has to deal with. This set me thinking. While the writer briefly explains why this type behave as they do at the restaurant or front desk, my intention was to dig deep to really understand the underlining reasons for their beastly behaviour. I also wanted to share some thoughts on how one should prepare oneself - to deal with them and to stay calm.
Firstly, to the question as to why do certain people behave in this despicable manner? Let’s face it; ‘Men behaving badly’ is never going to go away. Those who behave badly are mostly unaware of the things that are truly causing them to ‘lose their cool’. These are people who are either stressed out or had just got into an argument on the way to the hotel / restaurant and fail to realise that their bad mood is colouring their feelings. They are unhappy. So they explode at the slightest delay or misgiving. They need to blame someone else, right? And, that’s when the vulnerable employee gets into the line of fire.
This is a psychological question. It’s not the restaurant or hotel or any other place for that matter that is to blame. A reasonable person catches himself, at some point, takes a deep breath, calms down and moves on. It is the ones that lack that self-awareness who aim their constant inner turmoil at people around them. These mean-spirited humans, act behind an unjust smokescreen, provoking confusion with the sole purpose of creating a noisy and chaotic situation – to vent their frustrations.
Have you noticed that in most cases, this type of individual is surrounded by a coterie of friends and side-kicks, i.e. a small group of miserably loud mouthed people with shared interests or tastes, especially one that is exclusive of other people. Someone compared this to an individual in a mental institute believing he is God with no followers from the outside world. Upto that point he has no power, but no sooner people outside the asylum give credence to his words – he becomes empowered. The tragedy is that such people do exist in real life. They can sound very convincing, possessing wealth, carrying dubious titles in front of their name and, tagging numerous letters after it.
How does one deal with such guests? Employers should educate workers on this kind of personality. When employees learn to recognise the behavioural characteristics and understand the reasons as to why they behave as they do, they can predict what to expect. Accordingly, they can provide that ‘service with a smile’ and yet, shed that hidden yearning (if at all), to plunge a dagger into the customer’s heart.
Stories of waiters doing something gross to the food or beverage, to exact revenge, such as spitting (or something more unsavory – like the salad cook who took money from his wallet and stirred it with a guest’s salad order), may not be untrue. However, I do not advise anyone to go down that road…
Instead, let me draw reference to the basic principle of Aikido. This martial art relies on redirecting the antagonist’s intentions rather than attempting to resist or oppose it, so that one does not present a target for the opponent to connect with. Don’t allow your employees to be fazed because once they understand why such customers behave in this manner, they will not be demonized by it.
Find ways of educating employees by using a continuous approach, which can also be different each time, and challenge employees to think critically, as well as develop them into caring and solution orientated employees, especially when it comes to resolving issues with guests from hell.
Shafeek Wahab – Editor, Hospitality Sri Lanka, Consultant, Trainer, Ex-hotelier
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