Insights from "Confessions of a hotel insider"
I just put down the book titled “Heads in Beds: A Reckless Memoir of Hotels, Hustles, and So-Called Hospitality”- written by Jacob Tomsky in 2012. The stuff that he shares with the reader includes those that hotel guests rarely get to know or see and makes it an interesting read, whilst covering several amusing parodies.
Tomsky who has worked for over ten years in hotels unleashes a barrage of candid tell-all behind-the scenes activities in hotels, its secrets, antics and how the people in the hospitality business strike back at guests and managers who abuse hotel employees.
Here’s an extract of what he has to say in his book:
“I've worked in hotels for more than a decade. I've checked you in, checked you out, oriented you to the property, served you a beverage, separated your white panties from the white bed sheets, parked your car, tasted your room service (before and, sadly, after), cleaned your toilet, denied you a late checkout, given you a wake-up call, eaten M&M's out of your mini-bar, laughed at your jokes, and taken your money. From New Orleans to New York, I've played by hotel rules and, in the process, learned every aspect of the industry. Due to the fact that I just don't care anymore, I will now offer easy and never-publicized tips and tricks”.
He goes on to list a few simple techniques to get more by paying nothing, such as a late checkout or an upgrade. Then there are the pet peeves that hotel staff find obnoxious. Top of the ‘never do that’ list is ‘threatening’ a front desk agent. Citing instances, where he reassigned guests who were pre-registered corner rooms with a big bathroom and a lovely view of Central Park to less than desirable rooms - because they had an attitude problem or that they behaved badly towards their wives. Ha!
Here’s another interesting narrative on how else he would deal with guests who have an attitude that was off-putting:
“I also happen to know the electronic curtains are not functioning in room 3217, and it gets loads of morning sun in there. Good luck sleeping in. If I put you in room 1212 in New York City, your phone will not stop ringing with wrong numbers. Why? Well, a surprising number of guests never seem to learn that you have to dial 9 to make an outside call. So all day and, believe me, all night, idiots dispersed throughout the building will pick up their phones and try to straight dial a local number, starting with 1-212. Whatever they press after that matters not because they have already dialed room 1212, and 1212's guest will constantly pick up the 3:00 a.m. call and hear the loud mashing of other numbers or some drunk guest saying, "Hello? Hello? Who is this?"
Things guests often say that are so lame, according to the author, include,” My credit card declined? That’s impossible. Run it again”. What a waste of time - sooner or later, that call to the bank is inevitable. Another feeble try is the “They told me I should ask for an upgrade”. No mention about who that anonymous ‘they’ is though.
I’m certain that all what Tomsky says may not be the case in the majority of hotels – at least not the ones I’ve worked in during my 35 years of work in the industry, and I have worked at some of the best. Reading between the lines, I get that feeling that the author did not find his real calling when he joined the hotel industry and is letting off steam, and in the process demonstrating that he really did not care for the customer or his employer; both of whom had a role in some way or another towards paying his salary.
Ilzaf Keefahs is a freelance writer who enjoys focusing on hospitality related matters that he is passionate about, and likes to share his views with hoteliers and customers alike. He delves into the heart of hospitality to figure out both customer service and consumer trends that impact the industry.
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